Really looking forwards to getting back to work

I’ve got a doctor’s appointment on Wednesday, and I have a little flurry of excitement whenever I think about it, because she will hopefully sign me back onto light duties at work fairly soon.

They have changed things now so you can be signed back onto light duties, and start back perhaps an hour a day and build up.

I don’t know exactly why I am so excited.. I suppose it is partly that I feel in limbo, being “off sick”, and also I am missing people, and missing the job that I do. Plus I just feel out of touch.

I keep having these flights of fancy though, when I imagine going back to work I see myself as fully fit, whizzing round visiting people, or taking services, or leading an alpha group… the reality of what I will be signed back to is going to be somewhat different.

I have put together a programme to return to work that starts with me attacking my email mountain, and short easy visits, and staff meetings… that is pretty much it.

I had a go at driving on Wednesday (the previous effort was very scary), and I think I can do twenty minutes, so that will get me around the benefice, maybe… I am wondering whether the Doctor will say it is irresponsible to drive at the moment.

I’ve finally worked out a good explanation of how I am feeling. It is a bit like when I was a student and we worked all night to complete a project, and then the next day I didn’t go to bed…. I feel like that – a sort of fugginess… and some things I can do quite well, albeit slowly, but other things are completely beyond me.

And then, when I overdo it, it feels like sunstroke. Suddenly I am very hot all over, and I have a terrible headache, and I have to go to bed and sleep it off. This happened on Friday. I had been trying to do one thing a day all week. And some of the activities had been strenuous – we went to see the priest who will marry us on the Monday, and I went to see a dressmaker on the Wednesday….. Then Alan and I managed to have a… err… misunderstanding on the Friday… which flipped me into the ‘sunstroke’ mode. I didn’t feel better until later on the Saturday.

I think what I am trying to say to myself is that I am no where near better and just because I am signed back on doesn’t mean I can act like I am well.. otherwise I think it will be revenge of the Glandular Fever!

(But I am really, really, really looking forwards to work!)