Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction (SPD)

I mentioned in passing that I had suffered from Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction (SPD) in a post here, and I am really grateful to Crimperman for explaining something to me. But let me first explain about SPD. I am hyper-mobile (double jointed) and have always been able to do tricks, like make my elbows bend the wrong way and cause people to make satisfying 'eeeeww' noises. Hyper-mobile people like me have too much elastin and not enough collagen which means they are wonderfully flexible but bruise easily and bleed much if cut. Not really a problem for me, (except for the odd bit of anaemia, lots of sprained ankles, oh and a dislocated shoulder I suppose), until I got pregnant and all those ligament loosening hormones loosened my ligaments, which were already loose enough thank-you very much.

During my third pregnancy, the bones in my pelvis (which are meant to be held together solidly by masses of ligaments) decided to move, and it was dreadfully painful, to the extent that eventually I couldn't walk. I felt crushing shame, and I never really understood why, until I read this comment on the post I mentioned above:

My wife also had SPD for both our children, being housebound for the final month of the 1st pregnancy. I recall her fear when going to the ante-natal classes. The reaction from the other mothers was tangible. Ranging from shock to fear (will this happen to me) to relief (glad that it hasn't) and then obvious guilt and awkwardness.

That guilt and awkwardness was also found in us. We didn't want to be the ones who caused others to feel so awkward. Nobody knew how to react around us and this made it all the worse. Such things tend to cause those awkward and prolonged silences and I wonder whether "Society" also prefers not to know because they just don't know how to react.

This reminds me of a pamphlet I read was given by a counsellor during my first pregnancy, when it became evident that the child was dying in my womb. Each page contained bad news as to what a late abortion was like. But one page told me that people would avoid me, they would cross the road after the abortion, pregnant women would consider me bad luck and my presence would make them uncomfortable. It said that even my best friends would avoid telling me when they got pregnant. It all came true. It is tough when you suffer, even tougher when you then get ignored. People say that they don't know what to say, trust me whatever you say is better than saying nothing.